Needles

I hate needles.  They scare me.  I can't stand the phrase, "just a little pinch."  All that means is yes, a little pinch...and then discomfort...sometimes stinging...and then for me, a lot of bruising.

 

In 2005, after Brooklynn was born premature, my doctor took a big blood draw and ran a bunch of tests.  The results were that I had a blood clotting disorder called Factor V, or the Leiden disorder.  This means that my blood hyperclots and that I need to take blood thinners in order to stay safe from clots that will go directly to my lungs causing a pulmonary embolism.  This clotting disorder is also lethal to my babies, and my first three, but especially Brooklynn, were literal miracles that they were born healthy and alive.  For the past 3 pregnancies, my doctor has been able to keep this condition in check with the use of daily aspirin...but with this baby it's been different.  This time he said the aspirin is no longer effective enough, and that I need to do a daily injection of Lovenox (a blood thinner.)

 

 

 So each morning, I get up and take out my trusty alcohol...clean an area, and then inject this medication subcutaneously somewhere in my tummy.  Not nice.  It stings as soon as it starts going in, and it stings and burns for a while afterward.  I bruise almost immediately.  Because it's subcutaneous, just underneath the skin, I also have to experience that wonderful sensation of sometimes hitting a blood vessel.  When this happens, a blue bubble immediately appears along with a sharp pain.  At this point, I have to remove the needle, blood follows and then I have to clean and start all over again in a different spot. 

 

 I have injected myself around 90 times so far...and will continue until 6 weeks after the pregnancy ends in July.  When I first started this, I made Andy do it for me...because he's used to giving people shots and I'm terrified of needles so the idea of doing this to myself was out of the question.  But sometimes schedules don't work out, and since I have to do it at the same time each day...then it became necessary for me to just get brave and do it.  The first time I almost passed out BEFORE I even had the needle in.  My hands were shaking, and I was completely terrified!  But now, 90 injections later...I'm getting to be a pro and although I hate it...I can do it.

 

But seriously...what a thing to wake up to in the morning!  Really makes it fun to "rise and shine."  I've had so many people say that the reason why I have so many kids is that I have easy pregnancies.  Sheesh...I could go on and on about all of the things that I deal with during my pregnancies but really, who wants to hear about all of that?  Which is why I don't usually complain or talk about the difficulties...which is why people assume that I have it easy.  The reality is...that I have a lot of kids because I KNOW that I was supposed to have these children.  If I would have stopped having kids when it got hard...I would have stopped with just the one.  Some things are just worth whatever it takes.  So here's to you, little one!!!  Mom's had to face one of her biggest fears and become a needle pro, just for YOU!  Can't wait to see you again in the ultrasound next week!