I believe that we are all familiar with what happens when we get sick. When we get sick with something that requires a prescription medication, we take our little slip of paper from our Doctor (or if we're really lucky, our Doctor just calls it in) and we then take a trip to our favorite pharmacist where we wait. And wait. And do some shopping. And finally after anywhere from 15 to 45 minutes we are happily paying for some medicine that is going to miraculously make us feel better in two to ten days. It's amazing.
I think the most amazing part of the entire process, however, are the warning labels found on the outside of our medication bottles. Go ahead, look in your medicine cabinet and read those little warning labels...they warn us about a variety of things including how and when to take the medication, what NOT to do with the medication, what TO DO with it, how long to take it, where to take it, and what side effects can be expected while taking the medication. These simple little phrases put on stickers which are then slapped onto the side of the little brown medicine bottle can literally save our lives. Phrases such as: Take with food, Do Not take with food, Do Not Operate Heavy Machinery While Taking This Medicine, May Cause Drowsiness, For Topical Use Only, and Not to be Taken By Mouth are little life savers and help to make our days go by much smoother. Can you imagine what would happen if warning labels were done away with? What chaos would ensue!
Some recent experiences in my life have led me to the conclusion that if only people were given warning labels to wear on their foreheads...that our lives would be so much easier. How simple it would be, to go to our closets each morning, and as we are choosing our apparel for the day to also choose a warning label to go along with our moods. We could have labels such as, "Warning: Pop-Up Blocker is Malfunctioning," or "No Self-Control" or "Will Have Emotional Outbursts Spontaneously," or "Experiencing Involuntary Spasms of the Mouth," or "Intelligent Vocabulary was Erased Overnight by Aliens," or "Chocolate Needed" etc, etc.
I had our 6th baby in June, just about 4 months ago, and I am a lot heavier now than I was a few years ago. When I married Andy 14 years ago, I weighed 103 pounds. I am 5'8''...so at that height I was...slender to say the least. I was also in very good physical shape, I had been working out each day doing aerobic type exercises mixed with weight lifting for toning. Ahh...those were the days. Then I got married...and then 12 years ago I had my first child. After I had Taylor, I was able to get to within 5 pounds of my pre-pregnancy weight before we discovered that I was now expecting baby Rachel! Taylor was only 9 months old when we found this out, so I was pretty proud of myself for working that hard to lose the baby weight. After Rachey, I was able to once again get down to within 5 pounds of where I started with her. See a pattern here? Okay, so over our 14 years of marriage, and 6 children...I've put on some weight. In fact, to be completely candid, I now weigh 158 pounds. I went from being a size 4-6 to now wearing a size 12 in jeans.
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| Miss Idaho 1997: 103 pounds. |
And here's the big surprise! I actually buy my own clothes! Which means that yes indeedy! I KNOW how big I am compared to what I used to be! Ha ha! Imagine that! I see pictures of myself, and yes, we actually have mirrors in our home and I
LOOK in them everyday! I know what I look like! Even more than that, I can
FEEL that I am not nearly as in shape as I used to be. My muscle tone is not great. But, I am okay with that. I like who I am, and hey! I feel like over the past 14 years I have accomplished some great things...and being the mother to six children is not an easy task nor does it give me much spare time to do things for me.
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| June 2012: Day of Addyson's Birth: 170 pounds |
However, there seem to be a few random people in my aquaintence who feel that it is their responsibility to help me know myself better I suppose. Here are some fun little friendly comments I've had made to me in one on one conversations, over the phone, by email, in facebook, and sadly, through the grapevine.
"Wow! You're a lot bigger than you used to be!"
"You don't work out anymore, do you."
"Well, you're not fit, are you?"
"What size are you wearing now?"
"Well, you have six children, so at least you have an excuse to be
overweight." (
This just might be my personal favorite!!!)
"So just because you used to be Miss Idaho doesn't mean that you'll always look like a beauty queen, does it." (
huh? I'm fairly certain that this was MEANT to be...not very nice!)
"So, are you giving away any of your clothes that you don't fit into anymore?" (
ahem... NO! So there! I still have dreams okay!?)
Those were comments made by people that I know personally...I think that a few needed some warning labels on their foreheads the day that they said them. Now here's where the fun begins...I thought for kicks and giggles I'd share some of the sweet comments I received by COMPLETE STRANGERS while I was pregnant with Addyson! Imagine the warning labels we could come up with for these witty folks.
Note: Some words have been edited...but don't worry, you'll still get the idea of the person's sincerity.
While in the Oceanside, California Walmart:
"Oh my
GOODNESS!!! Oh MY Goodness! How many kids do you have!? Oh my Goodness, you're having another one?" (We were on Spring Break and stopped in for a few snacks...Andy left me for two seconds to grab something from another aisle, leaving me with ALL 5 kids. I was accosted by this frizzy-haired woman with darkly-tanned leathery skin in a worn tank top, short shorts, flip flops, huge glasses...who had a carton of beer in her cart.
On date night with Andy, making a late stop into Nampa Walmart for some hair gel, two women went by with their cart and one said quietly to the other:
"Uh, is she having twins?"
(this one surprised me so much, I actually looked around to see if there was another pregnant woman in the aisle. Nope. Just me. Now, weren't they just two little sweeties?)
At the Meridian Walmart, buying bribe food for Lainah. (Lainah had to have another ultrasound done on her kidneys at the hospital and was terrified...so I told her we'd go buy donuts and chocolate milk when we were done. So the ONLY things I had in the cart were a dozen donuts and a gallon of chocolate milk.) I am due to have Addyson in 5 DAYS, so yes, I admit it...I am very large! An older gentleman was passing me, stops, and says:
"Well bless your heart, I sure hope you're having that baby anyday...for YOUR sake!" (
again, I was stunned! In my state of total shock, I LAUGHED, and said, "Oh! How fun!" I know, that doesn't make any sense at all.) He replied:
"I'm a minister. How many children do you have, just the two?"
(So, I smiled even bigger and said, "Nope! This will be my 6th!")
He then fainted.
Okay, he didn't faint but he wanted to. He said "God bless you!"
I had two people while I was pregnant, one in California, and another here at the Nampa Joann Fabrics ask how many children I had and after my reply say, "Oh my GOODNESS! You MUST be Catholic!" and then when I told them that I was actually NOT a Catholic but a Mormon...here's their responses:
California woman: Oh, well I knew it had to be one or the other. You're the only ones who have huge families.
Nampa Joann Fabric Shopper: Oh, uhh...I know you already go to church and everything, but you need this. (
She then took a brochure from her purse and handed it to me. It was a brochure for a new church coming to Nampa.) She then told me to make sure to look at it because it could really help me. Then she kind of side-stepped away from me...as if I was carrying the plague or something and she might catch it. (
Ha ha! I was laughing all the way to my car. I still laugh as I write this. It was really the funniest thing I think that has EVER been said or done to me while shopping! And it was done while standing at the cutting counter, which was very busy...so I had an audience of about 10 women. I really wonder what THEY were thinking of all this!)
And the most recent: I was shopping for a baby gift on date night with Andy, and we came up to the check out counter with a small pile of baby boy things. Addyson was in her carseat in the cart. She was only 3 months old. Very small. It takes 9 months to have a baby.
There is no physical way possible that I could be about to have another one.
I'm feeling good because I have lost 15 pounds after having Addyson. The clerk looks me up and down and says:
"Oh, these are so cute. Is your baby due in a couple of weeks?" (
The funniest thing about this one, is that Andy was a witness to it. He has never once been there to hear the things people say to me! We both just kind of looked at eachother and were speechless.) I really was completely speechless, I didn't know what to say! Finally, I just sputtered out, "uh, well, I just had my baby a few months ago, see?" and I pointed to Addyson. The poor clerk was completely embarrassed and tried to backpaddle as fast as she could. Andy and I tried to help her feel better...once we were out of the store neither one of us could stop laughing.
Each morning when I wake up I look in the mirror. I look closely at my forehead. It doesn't appear that anything is there. But I am not fooled. I MUST have a label stuck there that is visible to all but myself that says,
Please comment about my weight, children, and religion.
or maybe
I am an imbecile. Please help me.
or my favorite
Pop-up Blocker broken? No problem! I LIKE receiving criticism cloaked as friendly advice!
In all seriousness, can you imagine going throughout your day reading the foreheads of others? It might help just a few seconds before they open their mouths to read:
Warning: makes inappropriate and offensive comments to complete strangers at will
or
Warning: spontaneously combusts spewing random, inappropriate comments
or
Warning: No Chocolate in system. Possible side effects: irritability, loss of self-control, a strange desire to comment on others' personal or private matters.
In the very least it would allow time to brace yourself for the impact!
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| Taylor, Rachel, Brooklynn, Matthew, Lainah, and Addyson in front of the McCall Candy Store: McCall, Idaho 2012 |
And here they are...my six beautiful children. And yes, they are worth it.
Every. Single. Pound. Their warning labels?
Warning: Silly, intelligent, talented, snuggly and will melt your heart... if you have one.
