Customer Service

Customer Service. Usually when we hear that short simple phrase, especially those of us who have had that wonderful "priviledge" of working in retail sales we think of that other phrase "the customer is always right." At least, I do. I had that phrase grilled into me during my years as a department store employee...I had to deal with all sorts of people.

The old ladies who smothered themselves in bad-smelling perfumes asking me to follow them around the store holding the mound of ugly clothes they wanted to try on...all the while asking me how nice I thought their choice of colors were. Well...their choice of colors WERE nice...just not nice when put together.

The young mothers who for some weird reason decided to go clothes shopping for themselves with all of their rowdy children who liked to play hide and seek in the rounders and then got themselves lost so I was the nice lady who would calmly take them up to the front desk and announce over our loudspeaker system in a calm voice "SERIOUSLY LADY!!!!! COME GET YOUR OFFSPRING BEFORE I KICK THEM OUT ON THE STREET!!!" Okay, really I would say something like "We have a lost child with the name of 'Timmy I'mabother' ...would Timmy's mother please come and pick him up in the layaway section?"

Then there were the bored women who we would see come into the store at least 2-3 times a week, and would get upset when we didn't have new merchandise out on the floor for them to try on and leave scattered all over the dressing rooms like a bunch of slobs. Seriously...I hated to even think of their closets.

Then there were the poor husbands who would come in at 5 minutes to close on Christmas Eve wanting that perfect gift for their extremely picky wife and wanted ME to choose it....no pressure or anything. I would ask, "well, what size is she?" "Um....I'm not sure...she's kind of average, I think." Great. That really gets us somewhere. In the end, I would just pick out something I thought was fabulous in a size...whatever we had of it and made sure to tell him to save the receipt (knowing that the day after Christmas she would be in to return it).

Ahh....customer service. Well. The Walmart here in Cleveland Heights is AWESOME. Awesome for a good laugh if you can keep your attitude in the right area anyway. Since we've been here, I have had so many experiences of ridiculously bad, terrible, absolutely non-acceptable customer service issues with the people they employ there.

From the time that I waited for 30 minutes in the Express (10 items or less) lane with my 7 items, only to get up to the desk and have the colossal employee tell me in a slow drawl that I'd have to go to a different isle because my items were TOO BIG. Yep. Too big. I pointed out that the sign doesn't say anything about the size of the items, only the quantity and that since I had only 7 and not 10, that the size and quantity should average it out making my cart acceptable for her lane. Nope. Her attitude was as immoveable as her rather large-sized person. I had to take my water coolers and other camping gear to a different lane and wait again. I was FUMING!!!! 3 years later, it's funny.

Then there was the time when Andy went there on his bike only to find that they didn't have a bike lock rack...so he didn't know what else to do but to take his bike in with him. Well, of course the friendly greeter told him "You can't take that thing in our store!" In a nice loud Cleveland street slang voice. Half the store turns around to watch this tall white guy in blue scrubs try to reason with the store greeter. Andy told her that he would be happy to lock it outside if the store would kindly provide a place for him to do that. Well, they were at an impass until the store manager came out, and told Andy that he would have to leave. Andy told him that he would have to provide a place for bicyclists to lock their bikes or he would continue to bring his bike into the store. Well, the Cleveland Heights Gettomart now has a bike rack. Way to go. They also have a different manager now...I don't think the two incidents are related.

Just two nights ago, Andy and I were up doing odds and ends after the kids went to bed and both of us thought that a Subway sounded sooooo good. Well, it was only 9:00, so we thought, Great! We have time to go grab one! Like the great guy that he is, Andy volunteered to go and get the sandwich. He goes to the Severence Walmart Subway. By the time he actually gets in there, it is 9:20...but, the store doesn't close until 10:00, so he still has plenty of time, right? WRONG! He goes in there, and the girl is putting a sandwich together for this guy, she looks at Andy and says "We're closed." Andy just kind of chuckled and said "You're closed?" And she says "Ya, we're closed." So, he asks her what time they close and she says "At 9:20". Hmm...that is a strange time to close. So, he walks over to the greeter person and says, "hey, what time does the Subway close?" And the greeter tells him "oh they don't have a set time, usually between 9:30 and 10:00" hmm....what to do now. Cause a scene? DEMAND A SUB? Make it yourself? All these questions, but no answers!!! So, in the end he just laughs at the incredulousness of this store and goes to a different Subway.

Seriously. When the Gettomart trains their new employees and they come to the section of the training manual entitled "Customer Service" that's the part when the employees go out for a smoke break or something.

Oh...and I'll blog about their choice of background store music on a different blog. Seriously, Rap? Oh, that will calm people down in a hurry.