Brooklynn's President's Day Saga

Brooklynn is in the 1st grade, and has the most energetic, creative, and fun-loving teacher. She absolutely adores Mrs. Clarke, and I hear things about how wonderful Mrs. Clarke is every day. Mrs. Clarke even has a lizard named Spike...and the kids are encouraged to bring him grasshoppers and other yummy bugs to eat. How fun is that for a group of 1st graders! Well, I hear about Mrs. Clarke's wonderful qualities...but after reading a paper that Brooklynn wrote for a writing assignment after President's Day weekend...I worry about what Mrs. Clarke must think of me!

The kids were supposed to write a short paragraph about what they did over President's Day Weekend. Brooklynn did not mention that her grandparents came to visit, she did not mention that her cousins came to stay for a couple of days because there was a swim meet. She didn't even mention that we went bowling as a family on Monday after all of our out of town visitors left! Ever want to know what left a lasting impression on your child? Ask them to write a short paragraph about their weekend and you'll know! But be prepared, you may not want to hear it!


Here is what Brooklynn wrote, word for word. I didn't change spelling or punctuation. A translation will follow. Be prepared for laughs, or gasps, or both.

"On Presidints day I my little brother puncht me in the eye the next day my sister therw a pesse of wood and it hit me in the head it hert The next day I got a naill stuck in my foot I got medisin that tasted like wadermelen mixt with unyins."


Translation: "On President's Day, my little brother punched me in the eye. The next day, my sister threw a pice of wood and it hit me in the head. It hurt. The next day, I got a nail stuck in my foot. I got medicine that tasted like watermelon mixed with onions."


Explanation: All of these things happened! They are all true! However, Matthew didn't mean to hit her in the eye. They were playing on the trampoline, and he jumped and she jumped and his hand happened to be in a fist and as she was coming down he was going up and his fist met her eye. Ouch! BUT...it was an accident! He didn't just swagger up to her and lay her out flat!


Rachel did indeed throw a piece of wood and it did hit Brooklynn in the head. Again, another accident. We are demolishing our barn, and Andy had all of the kids outside helping. They were stacking wood slats, and burning the thin, light, small wood shingles. Millions of them it seemed. It was actually one of these small, thin, and light shingles that Rachel tossed over towards the fire, the wind caught it and it hit Brooklynn in the head. Again, ouch! Again, an accident! Rachel did not pick up a 2x4, say, "Hey Brooklynn!" and then whack her over the head with it!


Brooklynn did also step on a nail. You could definitely say that it was not her weekend. She WAS however, wearing boots when it happened. So, I was not a terrible mother sending her outside barefoot! She was wearing boots and just happened to step on a board that had a nail in it. The nail went completely through her boot and into her foot. I immediately checked her immunization record and she was current on her Tetanus shot, got it just last year for Kindergarten so she was good. A few hours later when the pain was still pretty bad, and I noticed that the wound started to look like infection was spreading, I had Dr. Thuernagle prescribe an antibiotic to make sure that no secondary infection could happen. So thus, the yucky medicine that tasted like "watermelon mixed with onions." But hey, at least her foot started feeling better the next day and no more infection!

So. I wonder what Mrs. Clarke must think about our household. From punches coming out of nowhere, to flying wood, to sharp objects impaling little feet...to horrible tasting medicine...it really doesn't sound like that great of a place to be!


Brooklynn is such a crack up, she is hilarious!


Anybody need us to watch their kids? ha ha ha!!!!

The Champion Bowler

For a little bit of fun at the end of President's Day Weekend, we decided to take our kiddos bowling. I haven't taken the kids bowling for about 18 months, when we went with a neighbor during the day. Andy has never been bowling with them...so he was in for the experience.

We had a little surprise when we got there...the alley was completely filled and there was an hour long waiting time. So, we put our names on the list and headed over to Costco where we ordered a cheese pizza, hot dogs, and a chicken bacon wrap. We sat there and ate our yummy dinner while watching shoppers laden down with carts heaped full of cleaning supplies, food, and all of those other miscellaneous Costco finds. When we were done eating, we headed back over to the bowling alley.

The kids were laughing at the funky shoes, and Taylor wanted to know if he really had to wear them. Ahh...I remember the embarrassment I felt the first time I put on one of those hideous shoes. I don't know what happened over the years, perhaps a spike in self-confidence, or a dip in fashion sense...or even a mixture of both, but I really don't care what those silly shoes look like anymore! Actually, I think they're "awesome possum" and maybe will start checking out the D.I. on a routine basis so that I can buy my own stylin' pair.

Really, I should have taken pictures of Andy's shoes. Given that he has a shoe size of 14, I was really surprised when they actually had a size that fit him. Go figure! How many size 14 bowlers could their possibly be? That was worth the money right there, just to see him wearing a pair of those things...huge colorblock bowlers. Nice.

Well, after we finally got everybody programmed in, and everyone found the "perfect" ball to use for the evening, we started in on our fabtabulous game. Andy was wearing his Superman t-shirt...which turned out to be bad luck or something. He bowled one of his worst games ever, which was still twice as good as mine.

Taylor kept taking a turn and then going out in search of a more perfect ball. He never did find one that he thought was the right weight with finger holes the perfect size. Still, he didn't do too bad, he beat me.
Matthew was awesome. He would put his ball up on his shoulder and strut up to the beginning of the lane, get into a strong stance with his legs apart, and then huck the ball forward like a shot put. We let him do it that way a few times before trying to get him to put it on the ground between his legs and give it a nice big push. There were a group of teenagers to our left, and one time Matthew went to take his turn and actually dropped the ball and it went down their lane instead of his and promptly went into the gutter. The guy whose turn it actually was laughed and hurried and threw his ball down the lane before Matthew's could reach the end. He did hit a few pins, but then their game was paused because the poor computer was confused as to why there were two balls down there instead of one.

Brooklynn was really cute too. She used the gutters along with Matthew and Lainah and she did really well. She bowled with a pretty pink ball. She sort of lost interest about halfway through the game and was more interested in the soda that Andy was buying for the kids. She made several bathroom visits.

Rachey also bowled with the pretty pink ball, and did really well. She and Taylor were more into the game, and Rachey did beat him. He bowled faster but she bowled straighter. She was also really interested in the soda after a while and I think I'll have to call and see if you can just buy a 1/2 game of bowling...sort of like golfing 9 holes instead of 18.

I found my nice medium-weighted ball of swirly orange. I have a really funky bowling technique that I've never been able to get rid of. So, I send my ball down nice and straight, but it does a weird back roll think before it starts rolling forward again. I know, weird. It's all in the way I send it off my hand. Usually I can do pretty well, but I was miserably off and only got one strike.

And now Lainah. Lainah was the sweetest, cutest little girl in the entire bowling alley. She would need help each time carrying her pink or yellow ball down to the end. Then, I'd put it on the ground for her, and she'd squat down on her little two year old legs, and push it as hard as her little two year old hands could push it. Then we'd stand there and wait. And watch and wait. And blow as hard as we could...and wait...until her ball finally reached the end. Amazingly enough, Lainah bowled a 3 strikes and won the game with a score of...get ready...116. Yep, we are lousy bowlers! She was so fun to watch. She would jump up and down and say "hooray!!!!" and clap at her ball until it reached the end. Then she'd skip back to the seats to wait her next turn. Too cute.

At the end of the night Tay and I were discussing our amazingly low bowling scores, I pointed out that had we been golfing my score would have won, and we decided that we could choose only one thing in this life that we were really really good at....it would NOT be bowling. :) What a fun night!