Thursday, January 3, 2013

The Funny Things Kids Say

I was editing my blog and updating the background pictures and clicked into one of the sidebar gidgets labeled "The Funny Things Kids Say."  I didn't realize that blogger had stored all of my previous entries...I thought that they were replaced each time I added something new.  So tonight while Andy was making fudge, the kids sat around the kitchen while I read aloud about 5 years worth of entries...just little tidbits of funny conversations we've had with the kids.  Here's a sampling...

GROWING UP: According to Brooklynn, "Mommy, do you know what daddy's do when they grow up?" Me: "What?" Brooklynn: "They become Mommy's!" Awesome....

ABOUT TOILETS: Someone in our house plugged the toilet yesterday, but failed to tell me about it. No worries, I saw it before a catastrophe occurred, but I did gather the kids together to explain to them that there wasn't anything wrong or bad or embarrassing about plugging a toilet. (Okay, ya, it's embarrassing...but oh well.) Anyway, I told them that it was just very important that they tell me about it so that I could fix it before yucky stuff flooded the bathroom. So, a few hours later, Brooklynn comes running into the room I was in saying "Help Mommy! The toilet is drowning!" Yep. Plugged again.

ABOUT BOOTS: Yesterday, Brooklynn told me that she didn't want to wear boots anymore. I asked her why, and she told me: "It's because when I wear my boots, it makes my head feel coldness." So, while giggling a little bit, I asked her why she thought that her boots made her head cold, and she said "because they don't do anything but walk around in the snow." Oh my...I love Brooklynn's logic.

COLLEGE FACTS: Today at lunch, the kids were discussing what would happen if they went to college early. Brooklynn: Well, we'd have to have our own cars. Rachel: Ya, but we don't know how to drive because we don't have license plates. Brooklynn: Where do we get license plates from? Taylor: From the store that sells licenses. But they're really expensive. Taylor: But you can go to college without a car. You just have to have a bike or a scooter. Rachel: Ya, but if we go to Cleveland then people will steal our bikes like they did Daddy's. Taylor: Well, that's why we won't go to college in Cleveland. We'll go somewhere else where they don't steal your bikes. Brooklynn: What do you do in college Mom? Taylor: You learn about real science experiments and math. You get to multiply things by the thousands. Rachel: get to have your own computers. Taylor: Only if you need them. Brooklynn: Well, I don't want to go to college. Everyone: Why not? Brooklynn: Because they don't give you juice and crackers for snack!


ABEM...otherwise known as ABUM: Brooklynn had a field trip today to the grocery store. She was so excited to tell me all about her bus ride there and back. Riding the bus was the coolest part of the whole field trip. Anyway, I asked her who she sat by on the bus, and as she's putting another big spoonful of macaronis into her mouth she says, "Oh...I just sat by ABUM." I still can't get over how funny it sounds coming out her mouth...and yes, I have a vivid image of a "bum" they picked up from the grocery store and let ride home on the preschool bus.

This morning, the first thing that sleepy little Brooklynn said to me as she's rolling out of bed half asleep is, "Mommy, last night I stayed asleep the whole night and kept my shoulders covered because it's not modest to show our shoulders."

ROPE MARKS: Yesterday Brooklynn had gym day at preschool. I asked her what activity they did. She said they played "Zookeeper." I asked her to explain to me how you play zookeeper. This is her explanation: "Well, first you have to have some kids be wild animals, and then they have to run around and you chase them around because that's what a zookeeper does at his job, but we didn't get to use ropes for tying up the animals." Asked her why she thought they weren't allowed to use ropes, and she says "Well Mommy! If we put ropes around their necks it might leave marks!" So, forget the fact that it's just flat out dangerous! A rope would leave marks and we couldn't have that happen!

I DON'T WANT TO BE FOUR: So last night at Taylor's birthday dinner, the kids were talking about a fit that Brooklynn had had earlier in the day. Andy casually said, "three-year olds are allowed to have fits." Okay, my eyes about popped out on this one. Clearly that statement was made by someone who is NOT in care of the children throughout the entire day or that comment would not have been said. Too late though...because the next words out of Brooklynn's mouth were: "On my next birthday, I don't want to turn four, I want to stay three." three-year-old.

SIGNS YOUR CHILD IS DEVELOPING A SENSE OF HUMOR: This morning, Rachel shows me a scratch on her forehead and says, "Mom, do you want to know what happened to my head?" Me: "Yes" Rachel: "Me too."

"PACIFICALLY SPEAKING" Last night at dinner, Taylor asks: "Mom, Dad? Could I ask you a pacific question about something?" Mom: "Sure Taylor, so long as it's not an Atlantic question." Taylor looking a bit confused: "Okay, pacifically, can we watch The Bee Movie?" Mom: "Um, well, Atlantically, I'm not sure. Indianically...maybe. But Pacifically...I think so." Okay, by this time Andy is rolling and I am laughing, but the kids are just staring at us like we're from another planet. I then explain to Taylor that the word he meant to use was "specifically", not "pacifically." Awesome. I love it when they start using new words.

This morning, Brooklynn was letting the blinds up in the living room. Andy and I were in the kitchen, and we hear her call out, "Mom and Dad, I just threw up the blinds!" Andy and I look at each other and burst out laughing. (Sorry if you don't get our humor) I call out, "Brooklynn, are you feeling better now?" (Andy is still laughing) Brooklynn is confused.

Last night, we were all enjoying some cherry pie for dessert when Andy felt something wet and squishy hit his foot and fall to the ground. He looked across the table to Brooklynn, who was suddenly very busy trying to get underneath the table. He asked, "Brooklynn, did you drop a cherry on my foot?" From under the table we hear, "No Daddy! I dropped it onto the floor and your foot got in the way!" (Don't worry, we didn't let her eat it once she retrieved it. YUCK!)

"QUEEN ARMADILLO" So, we let Taylor, Rachey and Brooklynn watch Star Wars, Episode I during their Spring Break. They loved it, and Tay and Rachey have been battling it out with light sabers ever since. Well, Rachey was playing princesses with Brooklynn and she tells Brooklynn... "Okay Brooklynn, now you can be Princess Leia, and I'm going to be Queen Armadillo" (Okay! So I bust up laughing and run out of the room...I couldn't help it. Queen Amidala's hair-do's do sort of resemble an armadillo at times.

I was making Rachel's birthday cake and Brooklynn was helping me. I got out the cooking oil for the cake mix, and went to measure it out and she said, "Wait Mama! Not, that's okay, this one isn't for the toilet." "What?" I ask bewildered yet again. (Sometimes, I just feel so out of it.) "Well Mama, this one is for cakes, and the one in the bathroom is for toilets." I looked at the bottle of vegetable oil, and realized that to a 3 year old, it could very well look like the bottle of lysol (you know, yellow?) " Brooklynn, this is NOT for toilets, this is oil for cakes." "Yep! That's right! For cakes, not for toilets!" (Sidenote: I went to the bathroom to make sure the cleaners were still on the very top shelf...and wondered... if she thinks the yellow lysol bottle is for cleaning the toilet, I wonder what she thinks the white bottle with the blue spray is for???)

"Kidney Infection" Tonight at dinner, we had an interesting discussion about kidneys. Andy and I were talking about how my grandpa has been having some trouble with his kidneys, and Rachel asked me, "Mom, have you ever had kidney problems?" Me: "Nope, my kidneys work just fine thankfully." Rachey: "YOU HAVE KIDNEYS?!?" Me: "um, yep, two of them." Taylor: "How can you have two kidneys and not have an infection?" Me extremely confused: "Well, our bodies are supposed to have two functioning kidneys. Kidneys clean the blood." Tay very confused: "Ya, but how do they clean the blood if they cause infections?" Andy smothering laughs. Me still confused but very entertained: "Um...kidneys don't cause infections guys, but sometimes you get infections IN your kidneys." Both Rachey and Tay together: "OH! We thought that there was a germ called "Kidney" and that it gave people infections sometimes." Me laughing now: "Nope. Germs give your kidneys infections, and kidneys are your blood cleaners, they're the good guys." Tay and Rachey: "OH......" Ahhh....another mystery solved...what will be next?

We were visiting with friends last night, and our friend Jennifer asked, "Brooklynn, how old are you?" Brooklynn said, "Um, I'm three." Jennifer then asked, "When are you going to turn four?" Brooklynn looked up at her and said, "On my birthday!"

Today Brooklynn (3 yrs) was drawing a picture with her markers while I fixed dinner, and she said "oh, Mommy. My drawing is ridiculment." I asked her what "ridiculment" means, and she said, "it means that my drawing is not doing what I want." I told her, "but honey, you're doing a great job!" and she said "no mommy, when a drawing has ridiculment, you just have to start over." And she turned the paper over and started drawing on the back--problem solved.

Rachey came home from school yesterday wearing a blue NASA sticker. Andy asked her why she had a NASA sticker on, and she said "Well, I don't know. It's just a word that people use in space."

"So RACHEY, what did you learn about in school today?" "Well, I learned about a guy named Paul Remere!" "Really, Paul Remere? Who's he?" "Mom, (said with exasperation) he's the guy who rode all over the place telling people that the British were going to come over." (me trying desperately to NOT laugh) "oh, ya, that Paul Revere guy was pretty awesome huh!" "Yep, he sure is!"

TAYLOR: "Mommy, do you think we'll ever be in another canine?" Mommy: "A what?!?" Tay: "A canine, you know when there's no food?" Mommy: (suppressing an outbreak of giggles) "oh, you mean a famine? Hmm...I'm not sure." Later that night Andy and I laugh and laugh and laugh. I love it.

"Mommy, I have a headache." "Really? Where is your headache?" "In my tummy, I think I need some pop." (BROOKLYNN)

"Chocolate milk doesn't come from chocolate cows. It comes from cows who've been in the mud." RACHEL

When asked if he was warm enough TAYLOR responds: "Yep Mom! I'm as warm as a polar bear hibernating."