All right. Imagine this. It's approximately 8:23 am on a Wednesday morning. I'm in the driver's seat of my Honda Odyssey minivan, on my way to Gearity Elementary School where I will unload Taylor, Rachel, Brooklynn, and Matthew...take them all into the school, all the way down to the end of the preschool hallway where I will help Brooklynn take off her jacket and hang up her backpack. I'll give her a kiss and a hug, send her into her classroom by 8:30, and then fight my way back down the hallway which is now filled with other parents who like to say their goodbyes in the middle of the hall, make it out the doors to the now crazy and dangerous parking lot, reload Taylor, Rachel, and Matthew...and speed off to Noble Elementary school where I will say my goodbyes to Tay and Rachey and send them into the school to their classrooms by 8:45. Ahh...at this point, Matthew and I breathe a sigh of relief...and go grocery shopping, or go to the library, or go do other errands...or sometimes we even get to just go home and relax!
Point: I have a tight schedule in the mornings. From the time that I get myself out of bed, and then raise my children from their pleasant slumbers, feed them breakfast, help them get dressed, to when I drop them off at school it is timed down to the minute. BUT!!!!!!! Even though I'm in a hurry, I'm stressed, and I too have places to be, I do my best to be a safe and courteous driver.
But this Wednesday morning, it was especially challenging for me to keep my hand from laying on my horn. It was especially challenging not to think, "Man, I wish I were driving one of those old beat up pickup trucks with the front loader...so I could ram this person out of the way!" Ahem. I never think those thoughts. Often.
I was going down a street that is signed 25 mph, and where there frequently are police officers waiting on the side streets to pick up speeders, so I make it a point to not go more than 5 over the speed limit. Suddenly, a green jeep cherokee with a Cleveland Indians flag sticking off of it's front antenna comes up behind me and starts riding my tail like crazy. They swerve out to the middle of the road to see around me, and then swerve back into their lane to miss the oncoming schoolbus. (I'm thinking that the "Go Indians" flag must have gotten into their line of vision...how else could you miss seeing a big yellow schoolbus?) They now lay in on their horn. (Now my kids are asking me "Mom, why is that lady falling asleep on her honker?") Sidenote: For some weird reason, when people around here honk...they honk so long and so loud, that my kids think they've fallen asleep...therefore, the "fallen asleep on her honker". Anyway, I told them that this female was definitely NOT a lady. That seemed to keep them busy processing for a while.
Well. It gets even better. I now come to an intersection where I'm going to turn right. Catch. The stoplight is RED. Catch #2. There is a "no turn on red" sign. Well, apparently the "female" jeep driver behind me is not only unladylike, but is also illiterate because she is now blaring her horn at me, (she is seriously sleeping on that honker) and making obscene gestures out her window. (At this point, I've got my cell phone out, and I'm about ready to dial in to the Cleveland Hts. police to have them come pick up this idiot...when I realize that my cell phone is dead. Perfect.)
Time for some good old "right back at ya" right? I contemplate slowing down to 5 mph to make her pass me, and then riding her tail. I think about throwing out a stinky diaper to splat all over her windshield...but I didn't currently have one with me. I think about making a huge picket sign that I can have Taylor hold up to the back window that says "Remember...CIVILITY!" (Civility Rules are being taught by the city of Cleveland Heights. How? They're trying to teach the people who live here how to correctly treat one another by putting little hints on our water bills...as if the people who live here actually read their water bills...as if the majority of the people who live here bother to pay their water bills...) Okay, anyway, I'm thinking of all these funny, ridiculous revenge strategies to keep my mind off of her sleep-honking and rude gestures and by now her screaming of something out her window. (I can't understand a word she's yelling...unfortunately, my children can...they're better at the dialect than I am)
So the light turns green, and I go around the corner. At this point, this jeep driver decides to go around me at mock 10, swerve right in front of me (missing an oncoming HOT BMW navy blue convertible...nice) and then goes as fast as she can to the next stoplight, where now I am behind her. AHA!!! This is where the daydream of the front loader comes in. But, sadly, my daydream is interrupted by an interesting bumper sticker. This is what I read on the female-sleep-honker's bumper.
Well! Apparently, I just need to get a different insurance company, and then I can drive like a maniac and do whatever the heck I want as well! I'm calling tomorrow to cancel Erie Insurance...I need better coverage.
On a serious note: I thought about that poor person a lot that day, and a lot ever since. It really just hit me pretty hard that there are millions of people in our nation who really believe that they can do whatever they please and be saved merely by saying their praises or whatever it is they do. What a truly great and terrible day it is going to be if they don't learn the truth and change their ways. It made me really thankful to have the gospel in my life, and to know exactly what I need to do to have the atonement work in my life. And it made me want to try harder to be better...because I do have the full knowledge and understanding of Christ's gospel.